How NOT to Do Film Parodies: A Not-so-loving Look at Aaron Seltzer's <em>Date Movie</em>

Ever since the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team took a 1950s aircraft-in-peril movie titled Zero Hour and skewered its melodramatic excesses in the now-classic Airplane!, the "film parody" sub-genre of comedy films has spawned hit-and-miss efforts that encompass all kinds of Hollywood genres...action-adventure (Hot Shots!)...spy/war movies (Top Secret!)...teen sex comedies (Not Another Teen Movie)...and horror shlockers (Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Scary Movie 1-3).

Most of these parodies follow the same formula: take familiar character types and situations from the genre you are lampooning, cast popular and semi-popular actors to draw in viewers, then make as many visual or situational references to big films in the above-mentioned genre, adding as many ridiculous touches as you possibly can.

In an ideal situation, as in Airplane! or the older Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, the trick is to have the actors play the roles as straight and seriously as possible while adding the funny dialogue or hilarious visual joke. The juxtaposition of the dry performances and the humorous detail is what makes a film parody work.

Unfortunately, the current batch of supposedly "loving comic tributes" to formula films (including the Scary Movies) tends to focus excessively on the jokes without even asking for performances from the actors. Instead of taking their cues from the ZAZ team or even Mel Brooks and telling the cast to not let audiences know that they are in on the jokes, Jason Friedman and Aaron Seltzer allow Allyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk, and their cast-mates to mug, wink-and-nod, and practically shout to the viewer, "Hey, we are making fun of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Bridget Jones' Diary, Napoleon Dynamite, Shallow Hal, Wedding Crashers, Hitch, When Harry Met Sally, The Bachelor, and even Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith!"

The plot, if you want to call it that, centers on Julia Jones (Hannigan), a seriously overweight girl who falls for the handsome Grant Fockyerdoder (Campbell) when he stops for coffee at her parents' Greek restaurant. In a mish-mash of story points cribbed from Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and every mediocre to bad romantic comedy ever made, Julia gets an extreme makeover in what looks like an auto paint and body shop and becomes a sexy slinky "babe" who, after getting engaged to Grant, meets his parents (a wasted Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge) and has to contend with his almost-ready-for-porn-movies ex-fiancee Andy (Monk). 

And as viewers of any of the quickly disposable romantic comedies being "skewered" here can tell you, hilarity supposedly arises from a series of misunderstandings, comedic errors, and stereotypical situations where everything goes as predicted no matter what.

Grant Funkyerdoder: [voice-over reading his message to Julia] If you still love me the way I love you, meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks.
Julia Jones: On the Internet?
Grant Funkyerdoder: [still in voice-over] No, not in "You've Got Mail," in "Sleepless in Seattle."

However, director Seltzer makes the fatal error of focusing way too much on the visual jokes and references to other films and not on the actors' performances. He just takes entire sequences from other films and plops them into Date Movie willy-nilly, without taking any creative risks and adding more bite or naughtiness to them. It's as though he and his writing partner Friedman want to go for easy and cheap laughs without taking any chances.

He also has no, repeat, no sense of comedic timing. In a bit supposedly inspired by Bruce Almighty and There's Something About Mary, the viewer is forced to endure an overly long vignette involving Jinxler the Cat and a toilet. Had it been a quick-and-dirty sort of thing, it might have been funny. However, Seltzer lingers lovingly on this rather off-putting bit for over two minutes of running time.

As much as I enjoy a silly comedy every now and then (Thou shalt not live on action-adventure alone is my moviegoer's motto), and as much as I love even an admittedly in-your-face "stupid humor" film, I'm not amused by most of Date Movie. It's a waste of even Carmen Electra's rather limited talent, and it's waste of time and money.

Alyson Hannigan .... Julia Jones
Adam Campbell .... Grant Fockyerdoder
Sophie Monk .... Andy
Eddie Griffin .... Frank Jones
Meera Simhan .... Linda Jones
Fred Willard .... Bernie Fockyerdoder
Jennifer Coolidge .... Roz Fockyerdoder
Marie Matiko .... Betty
Judah Friedlander .... Nicky
Carmen Electra .... Anne
Tony Cox .... Hitch
Mauricio Sanchez .... Eduardo/Housekeeper
Beverly Polcyn .... Old Cart Woman
Valery M. Ortiz .... Jell-O
Charlie Dell .... Justice of the Peace

Recommended:
No

Enjoy an Art Museum, Docent Tour, and Lunch in a Day Trip

It is an excuse for a tasty lunch. We justify the true goal of the day, trying a new (to us) restaurant, with the appearance of culture. Living in the suburbs of Dallas, it is not a huge ordeal to trek into the city and enjoy the resources available to us. Even better, we will share a simple stress free outing with you.

Sleep in on a Saturday morning, since the Dallas Museum of Art does not open until eleven. Knowing a decent lunch awaits, we curtail our breakfast bounty and read the paper curled around a bowl of cereal. It is a gorgeous clear, sunny day with a hint of fall in the air. Dressed in sturdy walking shoes and casual wear, we drive the twenty miles into the city. Downtown Dallas on a Saturday morning is not teeming with life. The Arts District off of Pearl Street is just waking up and we easily find a meter to plunk in a few quarters. It is silly to pay the full day parking lot rate, when we plan to browse and then bolt for lunch.

There are some families and students waiting for the doors to open and we join the group to pay the ten dollars admission fee. We find our name on the docent tour list and end up with a private tour. Now, the docent tour was a bit of a bonus. My friend had won a silent auction bid a year ago and the tour was expiring. Even with a month's notice, friends and family were too busy to join in the festivities. Hence, it was the two of us. The docent tours can be arranged privately or there is a free public tour at two o'clock daily.

The tour is a pleasant surprise and gives us a new perspective of the museum. Rather than a seemingly random hodge-podge of art, there is a flow to the building and the docent guides us to a starting point upstairs. As we walk up the steps we enjoy the glass sculpture in the window of the art café. Flowers or sea creature creations, the bright glass glistens and allows the imagination to wander. An added bonus from the second floor is a view into the Nasher Sculpture Center next door. This is a year old cultural coup for the city of Dallas. Raymond Nasher donated his collection to the city, as well as actively participating in the building and presentation of his sculptures. The Nasher Center is a possible side trip depending on your art ambition for a day.

Our docent begins in the early American galleries and proceeds to stop and discuss various favorites and newly acquired pieces. As we proceed, we get a mixture of opinion, art history, and technique. With a different view and some lively discussion, we enjoy our stroll through the Dallas art galleries. We sit in front of Frederick Church's The Iceberg to rest our feet. The Dallas Museum of Art has a wide-ranging collection from American to African art, from classical to modern. A few hours here can enlighten young minds or invigorate the old. Constantly changing and rearranging the art on the walls, the museum wants you to return to see old favorites in new settings or to enjoy new works. It is easy to take the museum for granted, but an occasional visit is refreshing.

After two hours, we thank our guide and proceed to lunch. A short drive from the arts district, McKinney Avenue offers a variety of funky stores, trendy clubs, and fabulous eateries. We head to Cretia's on McKinney , a bistro and bakery. At one in the afternoon it has a decent crowd, and with the gorgeous weather, the patio seating is full of patrons. The menu does not disappoint with choice of lunch or weekend brunch items. We chose the chicken croissant sandwich and the hot roast beef sandwich. The lunches come with salad choices, fries, or fruits. Save room for dessert because the bakery section of this establishment is wonderful. We savored carrot cake with real cream cheese frosting and a red velvet cheesecake that was melt- in- the mouth delicious. Cretia's proves to be an enjoyable reward for our dose of art culture.

To burn off a few calories, we finish the afternoon with a stroll up McKinney to the Knox shopping area. Unique specialty shops and popular stores such as Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel line the streets. Shop, people watch, or plan the next outing complete with a restaurant choice on McKinney. This is one little section of Dallas and the Dallas Museum of Art is only one of many museums to see. Take the time to enjoy some art and lunch.

Dallas Museum of Art Arts District
Cretia's 4438 McKinney Ave Dallas Texas 75205

Art Box: A Great Way to Get Creative with Children

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You've had it! If you hear, "I'm bored. What can I do? There's nothing to do!" or one more whine you'll surely put your head in the dryer and slam the door shut! Keeping kids occupied challenges the most stalwart of adults. Let's face it; we're no match for the leprechaun like stealth of the half-pint human who exhibits no shame while in pursuit of getting what they want. In this case, the want is something to do! Take a deep breath and grab the art box. Aren't you glad you planned for just this kind of rainy, I'm bored day?

The art box is alive with fun projects for little fingers and minds. The key to creating this mother's little helper is to keep it fresh and growing. First you'll need a box. Find a fascinating box, either plastic, heavy cardboard, or a Rubbermaid container. Make sure it's colorful, big and fun. After all, this is a special box, not you're ordinary run of the mill type of box filled with just paper and crayons. The art box I pulled together is a plastic one in primary colors of red, blue and yellow with a snap on lid and a carrying handle. It cost about $5.00 at a big box store.

Once you've found the perfect box you can begin filling it. There's no need to fill it all at once. The idea is to start with the basics: construction paper in lots of colors, crayons, markers, scissors, glue, and a sketchpad. These items can be varied depending on the age of the child. Washable markers are a good idea for the younger set along with small, scissors with rounded ends. Add to the box periodically so when it's opened there's something new inside. Play dough makes a great addition. Forget the molds and the fancy tools. Let the children just use their hands and imagination to create whimsical masterpieces. Toss in stickers from time to time, especially for upcoming holidays. Paints of all kinds can be added. Start with watercolors. Move on to tempra for the older kids, but always have finger paints for the little ones. Sidewalk chalk is a big hit in the summer and in the winter it can be used on large newspaper print. You can usually get the end rolls free or for a nominal fee from newspaper publishers.

Think out of the "box" when coming up with new ideas. Collect little treasures when out walking. Botanicals like small pinecones, straw flowers, dried grasses or try your hand at pressing flowers with your wee ones. These can be glued on to paper to make wonderful nature pictures. Tiny shells and sea glass collected from a trip to the beach will surprise and delight when the box is opened. Glitter, pieces of fabric in bright colors, ribbons and rickrack all get the creative juices flowing. At some point you'll want to add colored pencils, stencils, and a handy dandy ruler. A compass or protractor for the older children will acquaint them with these items as well as aid in the artful creativity that makes children everywhere smile. (At least for a while.)

Keep a look out for unusual items that you can add to the art box. Purchase various colors of tissue paper for paper flowers and roses or to be used in whatever way your child comes up with. Petal paper is a very special paper that is made with bits and pieces of flower petals, grasses and other gifts from nature. It's a bit pricey, but what a treat for the older children.

The more fascinating the items the children find in the box, the more special it becomes. Look around your home. You'll find items that make for interesting art projects like: cotton balls, colorful pastas, sponges, buttons of every size and hue, dryer lint (?) I was just kidding on that one. Keep a good supply of stickers of all kinds on hand to add when nothing else is available

The true key to the "special" box is to have little surprises inside that were not there the last time it was brought down from it's safe spot. This is not the everyday color jar filled with broken bits of crayons; this box is brought out when things become really dire. It's a "special" art box. The special box is only used at the table or easel. No preschoolers are allowed to take one item from the box and walk around with it. Again, the idea is to make it so special that it brings excitement and smiles to the faces of the bored and fretting. It's worked for me and I'm sure it will work for you as well. So get crackin' you never know when the clouds might appear on the horizon or your child's face. As adults, we seriously need all the help we can get. The special art box will give you a moment or if you're lucky, two or three to take a deep cleansing breath. Just look at their cherubic faces. "NOOO don't paint the cat!!!"

Learning Baby Sign Language

baby clothes onsies

Babies learn language in a progressive way. First, they learn to distinguish sounds from each other, and notice familiar syllables and patterns. They also have a sense for tone, which conveys emotion. They see facial expressions and begin to assign them meaning, as well.

For example, a rather high-pitched repetition of their name with a smile can be recognized early on by very young infants. Babies learn to understand language before they have the ability to articulate the words themselves. They can learn to follow simple directions, recognize key words like "more," and "no", as well as "eat" and their names as young as 4-5 months of age.

The key to helping the baby to bridge the gap between being able to understand and being able to communicate needs, wants, and even what they are thinking and feeling. There is a way to do this. It's called "Baby Signs." Baby signs are a helpful tool which reinforce a baby's language development. They are something that can help with parenting, and decrease a baby's frustration (not to mention the parents')!

The way baby signs works is that you take a simple word that you say often, such as "more" or "eat" and attach a simple gesture to the word. Maybe it would be pointing to your mouth. Just do the gesture whenever you say the word. Speak directly to the baby, talk just the way you do normally - usually enthusiastically and with great eye contact and some repetition, and do the gesture too. If you start doing this when the baby is 6-7 months old, chances are that when he is 8-10 months old, he will be using the gestures himself to communicate the idea to you.

The earlier babies learn that gestures can be used to communicate as well as words, the earlier the baby can develop language connections is his brain. These connections give him a head start into the world of communication, and will lead to speech as soon as he is able. 

In the meantime, the baby sign gestures will allow you and your baby to communicate with each other before the baby can talk. Use of these baby signs will greatly reduce the frustration of not knowing what the baby wants.

Baby signing is a great technique for parenting and language development in babies of a very young age.

DIY Wedding Photography on a Budget

Photo Credit: celtics baby clothes

So, your wedding is fast approaching and you want memories that will last a lifetime. However, you are on a budget and don't have a lot of money to spend for a professional wedding photographer. You can still get professional-looking, creative, memorable pictures with DIY wedding photography.

The first thing to do is to find someone who takes great pictures. This doesn't have to do be a professional photographer. Many people have a "great eye" and instinctively know how to take great pictures. Think of friends or family members who you've complimented on their photography from vacations, for example. Another way to find a cheap wedding photographer is to look on local college bulletin boards, or post on them yourself in the art department or photography department. Many students have amazing talent, but since they are still a bit inexperienced, will be your wedding photographer for a fraction of the price of a professional wedding photographer. Some may even photograph your wedding for free, for no more than a free meal and use of your wedding pictures for their portfolio. You can also consider putting an ad on Craigslist for a hobbyist who is not a professional wedding photographer, but has an artistic eye and loves to take pictures. Get samples of work and negotiate a price you are both pleased with.

Whether you use a talented stranger or an artistically-inclined friend or family member as your wedding photographer, make sure they have a good camera. You may even consider purchasing a good quality, digital camera that you can give them as their "payment". If you need to purchase a camera for your DIY wedding photography, make sure you give it to the wedding photographer in plenty of time for them to learn the ins and outs of the camera, so they can adjust the settings. Digital cameras also allow for easy editing, so you or your DIY wedding photographer can edit your wedding pictures. Also, digital cameras have a large capacity to store many pictures, with a memory card they can hold hundreds of pictures, so you will have plenty of wedding photos to choose from to preserve your special day.

Another idea is to meet with your DIY wedding photographer to develop a plan of what you want photographed. Remember, since you will be saving a lot of money by not hiring a professional wedding photographer, you will have to do some of the work yourself. This includes providing the DIY wedding photographer with a list of what you want photographed. This may include photographs of the wedding rings, the wedding invitations, the bridal party, the groomsmen, the family of the bride, the family of the groom, the bride and groom's first kiss, the wedding service, etc. This will help you and your DIY wedding photographer be on the same page and know each other's expectations beforehand, so you get exactly what you want on your special day.

Also, encourage others to take pictures of your wedding. Some of the best wedding photography are those wonderfully candid moments caught by some of the guests. Some wedding couples choose to put disposable cameras on tables for guests to take photographs of, then ask that they leave the cameras when they leave the wedding reception. Some give the cameras out as wedding favors and ask that any great wedding photographs be sent to the married couple.

Lastly, consider the best of both worlds. You can hire a professional wedding photographer for a short period of time to take a few very specific pictures, then rely on your DIY photographer and wedding guests to take the rest of the photographs. This will eliminate a lot of cost for a professional wedding photographer. You can also opt to don your wedding attire a few days after the event and go to a studio to have a few professional pictures taken.

Remember, it doesn't take a professional photographer to take some amazing, creative, professional-looking wedding photography. Have a great day!

DIY Wedding Photography on a Budget

photo source

So, your wedding is fast approaching and you want memories that will last a lifetime. However, you are on a budget and don't have a lot of money to spend for a professional wedding photographer. You can still get professional-looking, creative, memorable pictures with DIY wedding photography.

The first thing to do is to find someone who takes great pictures. This doesn't have to do be a professional photographer. Many people have a "great eye" and instinctively know how to take great pictures. Think of friends or family members who you've complimented on their photography from vacations, for example. Another way to find a cheap wedding photographer is to look on local college bulletin boards, or post on them yourself in the art department or photography department. Many students have amazing talent, but since they are still a bit inexperienced, will be your wedding photographer for a fraction of the price of a professional wedding photographer. Some may even photograph your wedding for free, for no more than a free meal and use of your wedding pictures for their portfolio. You can also consider putting an ad on Craigslist for a hobbyist who is not a professional wedding photographer, but has an artistic eye and loves to take pictures. Get samples of work and negotiate a price you are both pleased with.

Whether you use a talented stranger or an artistically-inclined friend or family member as your wedding photographer, make sure they have a good camera. You may even consider purchasing a good quality, digital camera that you can give them as their "payment". If you need to purchase a camera for your DIY wedding photography, make sure you give it to the wedding photographer in plenty of time for them to learn the ins and outs of the camera, so they can adjust the settings. Digital cameras also allow for easy editing, so you or your DIY wedding photographer can edit your wedding pictures. Also, digital cameras have a large capacity to store many pictures, with a memory card they can hold hundreds of pictures, so you will have plenty of wedding photos to choose from to preserve your special day.

Another idea is to meet with your DIY wedding photographer to develop a plan of what you want photographed. Remember, since you will be saving a lot of money by not hiring a professional wedding photographer, you will have to do some of the work yourself. This includes providing the DIY wedding photographer with a list of what you want photographed. This may include photographs of the wedding rings, the wedding invitations, the bridal party, the groomsmen, the family of the bride, the family of the groom, the bride and groom's first kiss, the wedding service, etc. This will help you and your DIY wedding photographer be on the same page and know each other's expectations beforehand, so you get exactly what you want on your special day.

Also, encourage others to take pictures of your wedding. Some of the best wedding photography are those wonderfully candid moments caught by some of the guests. Some wedding couples choose to put disposable cameras on tables for guests to take photographs of, then ask that they leave the cameras when they leave the wedding reception. Some give the cameras out as wedding favors and ask that any great wedding photographs be sent to the married couple.

Lastly, consider the best of both worlds. You can hire a professional wedding photographer for a short period of time to take a few very specific pictures, then rely on your DIY photographer and wedding guests to take the rest of the photographs. This will eliminate a lot of cost for a professional wedding photographer. You can also opt to don your wedding attire a few days after the event and go to a studio to have a few professional pictures taken.

Remember, it doesn't take a professional photographer to take some amazing, creative, professional-looking wedding photography. Have a great day!

Boppy Pillow Photography Prop

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Photography props are expensive and many times are not even worth the investment. A Boppy Pillow however, even if bought at full price, is well worth the investment. You will get years of use from your Boppy Pillow and as a photography prop the Boppy Pillow can be used for babies and pets. The Boppy Pillow is also washable so it can be cleaned inbetween uses. You can purchase Boppy Pillows new at stores such as Target or used at resale shops and rummage sales.

Boppy Pillow Photography Prop Pose #1: Baby On Back
Place the Boppy Pillow on the floor of coffee table or other raised surface, not to high since you will be photographing from above. Cover the Boppy Pillow with a backdrop, blanket, material, etc. Gently rest the upper body of the baby on the Boppy Pillow, the baby's bottom should be near the open end. This position is perfect for newborns that can not support themselves.

Boppy Pillow Photography Pose #2: Baby on Tummy
Prepare the Boppy Pillow as above on a raised surface. For this pose the table can be high or low since you will be photographing from in front of the baby. For this photography pose you will be facing the open end of the Boppy Pillow away from the camera. This pose does require some upper body strength so it works best for babies 2 months and up. Place the baby stomach down with the upper body resting slightly forward of the Boppy Pillow. You now have a perfect head and shoulders position.

Boppy Pillow Photography Pose #3: Baby Sitting
Prepare the Boppy Pillow as described in pose 1. As in pose 2 the raised surface can be high or low since you will be photographing from in front of the baby. The Boppy Pillow opening should be facing the camera. Sit the baby inside the hole with the baby's legs coming out the opening. The Boppy Pillow will help support babies that can sit unassisted. In this pose the Boppy Pillow is mainly used to keep the baby sitting tall. Photograph the baby from the front. This pose will help you capture a nice head and shoulders photo of babies six months and up.

Boppy Pillow Photgraphy Pose #4: Pet Laying
Again prepare the Boppy Pillow as stated above. You will be photographing from in front of the subject so a high or low table will work. The Boppy Pillow opening should face to the left or right of the camera. Lay the pet with the front paws on the Boppy Pillow. The body should be laid into the center and if large enough out the opening. Stand behind the camera in front of the subject and get the pet to turn their head towards the camera. I use a rubber chicken, not a squeaker toy. A squeaker toy will scare most animals and usually makes a dog jump up and want to play. You only want to get the animal to look in your direction with their head.

I have included a couple of photos that show the Boppy Pillow in use.

Blair Hill Photography in Salt Lake City, Utah

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Blair Hill Photography services the Wasatch Valley areas locating between Provo to Logan Utah.

Blair Hill Photography began in the year 2000 when Blair first decided she wanted to use her camera for something other than fun. Though Blair had been taking photographs for a long time, and was very familiar with the SLR camera she owned, she was always just snapping photographs of family & friend adventures, music events, or other various events around the town. She had been published several times in her local newspaper and other various sources, but still never quite thought of the idea to go 'professional.'

When Blair decided that it was time to put her passion to work, she started to attend classes right away on her new favorite subject, so that she could learn as much as she could aside from what she already knew. She attended classes at her local community college, a local arts program, and MICA - Maryland Institute College of Art. She began developing her progressing in the field of musical/industrial photography, and developed a clientel very quickly.

To the downside of all the progress Blair had made with her work, in 2003 she moved 2000 miles across the county, which means her clients were not locals anymore. Discouraged, and looking for a refreshing moment in life, Blair took a break from her passion of photography until 2005. In 2005, Blair realized how much she missed doing what she loved most, taking pictures. She realized how much her focus of photography had changed though, and began to pursue portrait photography.

Since 2005, Blair has been an active portrait photographer in the greater Wasatch Valley in Utah. She has been complemented again and again on her wonderful work, with a repeat clientel that simply keeps growing and growing.

With astonishing photography, incomparable to any of the other local photographers here in Utah, yet still with the most amazingly affordable prices, Blair Hill Photography is completely unique, and perfect. Every day Blair is coming up with new ideas on how to make her work different, better. She is constantly attending trainings and schooling to further her educational background in photography, and to learn anything new she could possibly learn.

Her current creditinals include the following:

Anne Arundel Community College - 2001, Photography Certificate

Maryland Institute College of Art - 2002-2003 Photography Classes

Salt Lake Community College - 2006-current A.A. Photography Classes

In addition to her passion of photography, Blair has a B.S. In sociology from the University of Utah, and is currently working towards her masters in Gerontology. She hopes to one day mix her love for people and culture with her love and passion for photography.

To see Blairs work, please visit Blair Hill Photography by Clicking Here.